


Quirky Bits

by Ninjababe



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Deadpool has a potty mouth (Naturally), drabbles on steroids
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-30
Updated: 2017-02-12
Packaged: 2017-12-13 09:51:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/822923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ninjababe/pseuds/Ninjababe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a series of bits and story pieces that stick in my head. Nothing that would make a full story, but just scenes. Yes, they're short. Unless stated in the notes at the beginning of each bit, these are not connected.</p><p>This started out as just bits for the Marvel Cinematic Universe, but then, I discovered bits on my harddrive that will never become stories, so turned this into a general story idea dump...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Smarter than the Average Bear

"Beautiful one! I am here for our lunch engagement!" Thor exclaimed as he entered the labs of Avengers tower, interrupting an ongoing argument between Tony Stark, Jane Foster, and Bruce Banner.

"I'm almost done, Thor," Jane replied distractedly, staring at a wall sized whiteboard covered with equations.

Peering at the board for a few moments, Thor ignored the raised voices and wild gestures. "You do know where it's wrong, correct?" he asked after a few moments of contemplation.

"I'm sorry?" Bruce asked.

Waving at the board, Thor replied. "The equation. You do see the mistake, correct? Is this one of your science games? Figure out where the writer went wrong? It is, after all, a simple mistake."

"Thor, honey," Jane said as Tony and Bruce stared at Thor for a few moments, then back at the white board. "We came up with this over the last week. We've gone over every line and section multiple times for mistakes."

"Then, it is brand new? Not a game?" Thor asked, eyebrows furrowed. "Then, in the name of learning, I will leave it to you. Good luck! I believe the quest for knowledge is a noble goal. I will take a raining check on our date, lovely one." Placing a quick kiss on the back of Jane's hand, he strode from the labs, leaving three scientists behind with dropped jaws.


	2. Coulson?

"Coulson! You have to help me!"

Ignoring the near panicked shouts of the SHIELD agents around the two of them, Agent Phil Coulson calmly stared at the woman before him. "Kim? Why are you here?"

"I don't know! One moment, I was delivering Mr. Stark's coffee, just like usual, then there was a bright flash and suddenly, I'm in a section of SHIELD HQ that I don't have clearance for! I only recognize it from the time you whisked me through the building for my security briefing."

"Kim, I need you to stay calm," Coulson said as he motioned the other Agents back before putting his arms out in a conciliatory motion. "We don't need an EMP pulse in the middle of the building. It could be disastrous."

"Please, Coulson, I have more control than that," Kim replied, rolling her eyes.

"Coulson, what the hell is going on?" Fury insisted as he arrived in the corridor.

"Another alternate, sir." Coulson calmly replied before gesturing Kim to follow him.

"Damn it! Why does this keep happening?" Fury growled as he started to walk away.

"It's not just here, sir!" Coulson replied over his shoulder as he ushered Kim into his office.

"Coulson?" Kim asked. "What's going on?"

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Coulson replied as he sat down in his chair, "I'm what's been called a fixed point. For some reason, every reality I'm in, I'm exactly the same."

Kim looked confused. "I don't understand."

"Stay calm... You're in an alternate reality."

"WHAT!"

Coulson leaned back in his chair. "You somehow jumped realities."

"Then how do you know me?"

"For some reason, no matter what reality I'm in, I'm the same. And, all the alternates know what happens in every reality we're in." Coulson shrugged. "Now, let's get some more information about your specific reality and see if we can't send you home."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It hit me tonight... What if Phil Coulson was a 'fixed point in time and space'. Basically, he's exactly the same in each reality he's in... And, for some reason, he knows exactly what every version of himself knows. Since, after all, he's a fixed point.
> 
> If you want to expand on this, please do! Just give me a link to read it...


	3. Deadpool the Fairy God... mother?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Turns out Xander does have a Fairy Godmother (Father?) looking out for him...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I so wanted this to go somewhere, but it never did... But, this scene is too good not to share.

Xander stared in open mouthed shock at the... being... in front of him. A head to toe red and black suit with white eyes. The... person?... had a glittering tiara, black vinyl corset, soft pink tutu skirt and fluttering iridescent wings.

"Hey, kid. I'm your fairy godmother."

Xander blinked.

"See?" The being disappeared from one side of the room and reappeared on another. "I'm flying! I'm flying!"

"Kid?" The being waved his hand in front of Xander's face. "Not feeling it? Yeah, me either. Just a second." The being disappeared from the room to reappear a few minutes later, minus the wings, tiara, corset, and tutu. Instead, the being was covered in weapons. "How about this? Hey kid, I'm your god father. I have a penis, a rather large one, so don't you dare call me godmother... Except when I'm in costume. Or, you'll get a nasty surprise."

"You're going to give me weapons?" Xander asked, his brain starting to reboot.

"Sure, why not. Not Clarice though, she's my favorite."

"And, explosions?"

Even though you couldn't see facial expressions under the mask, you could tell the being grinned widely at the last statement. "Kid, we're about to start a beautiful friendship."


End file.
